During the third week of Counting the Omer, we examine the emotional
attribute of Tiferet or compassion. Tiferet blends and harmonizes the free
outpouring love of Chesed with the discipline of Gevurah. Tiferet possesses this
power by introducing a third dimension ― the dimension of truth, which is
neither love nor discipline and therefore can integrate the
two.
Truth is accessed through selflessness: rising above your ego and your
predispositions, enabling you to realize truth. Truth gives you a clear and
objective picture of yours and others' needs. This quality gives Tiferet its
name, which means beauty: it blends the differing colors of love and discipline,
and this harmony makes it beautiful.
Examine the love aspect of compassion. Ask yourself: Is my compassion
tender and loving or does it come across as pity? Is my sympathy condescending
and patronizing? Even if my intention is otherwise, do others perceive it as
such? Does my compassion overflow with love and warmth; is it expressed with
enthusiasm, or is it static and lifeless?
Exercise for the day: When helping someone extend yourself in the
fullest way; offer a smile or a loving gesture.
For compassion to be effective and healthy it needs to be disciplined
and focused. It requires discretion both to whom you express compassion, and in
the measure of the compassion itself. It is recognizing when compassion should
be expressed and when it should be withheld or limited. Discipline in compassion
is knowing that being truly compassionate sometimes requires withholding
compassion. Because compassion is not an expression of the bestower's needs but
a response to the recipient's needs.
Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a focused and
constructive manner by addressing someone's specific
needs.
True compassion is limitless. It is not an extension of your needs and
defined by your limited perspective. Compassion for another is achieved by
having a selfless attitude, rising above yourself and placing yourself in the
other person's situation and experience. Am I prepared and able to do that? If
not, why? Do I express and actualize the compassion and empathy in my heart?
What blocks me from expressing it? Is my compassion compassionate or
self-serving? Is it compassion that comes out of guilt rather than genuine
empathy? How does that affect and distort my compassion? Test yourself by seeing
if you express compassion even when you don't feel guilty.
Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a new way that goes
beyond your previous limitations: express it towards someone to whom you have
been callous.
Is my compassion enduring and consistent? Is it reliable or whimsical?
Does it prevail among other forces in my life? Do I have the capacity to be
compassionate even when I'm busy with other activities or only when it's
comfortable for me? Am I ready to stand up and fight for
another?
Exercise for the day: In the middle of your busy day take a moment and
call someone who needs a compassionate word. Defend someone who is in need of
sympathy even if it's not a popular position.
If compassion is not to be condescending, it must include humility. Hod
is recognizing that my ability to be compassionate and giving does not make me
better than the recipient; it is the acknowledgment and appreciation that by
creating one who needs compassion God gave me the gift of being able to bestow
compassion. Thus there is no place for haughtiness in
compassion.
Do I feel superior because I am compassionate? Do I look down at those
that need my compassion? Am I humble and thankful to God for giving me the
ability to have compassion for others?
Exercise for the day: Express compassion in an anonymous fashion, not
taking any personal credit.
For compassion to be fully realized, it needs bonding. It requires
creating a channel between giver and receiver; a mutuality that extends beyond
the moment of need. A bond that continues to live on. That is the most
gratifying result of true compassion. Do you bond with the one you have
compassion for, or do you remain apart? Does your interaction achieve anything
beyond a single act of sympathy?
Exercise for the day: Ensure that something eternal is built as a result
of your compassion.
Examine the dignity of your compassion. For compassion to be complete
(and enhance the other six aspects of compassion) it must recognize and
appreciate individual sovereignty. It should boost self-esteem and cultivate
human dignity. Both your own dignity and the dignity of the one benefiting from
your compassion.
Is my compassion expressed in a dignified manner? Does it elicit dignity
in others? Do I recognize the fact that when I experience compassion as
dignified it will reflect reciprocally in the one who receives
compassion?
Exercise for the day: Rather than just giving charity, help the needy
help themselves in a fashion that strengthens their
dignity.
