What happens when the local Wilmington Orthodox rabbi challenges the local JCC for serving meat during the nine days preceding Tisha B'Av -- a time of national mourning, when meat is not served as our expression of grief? Orthodox Rabbi Steven Saks, of Adas Kodesch Shel Emeth, working cooperatively with Reform Rabbi Yair Robinson, of Congregation Beth Emeth, and me, the local Conservative rabbi, performed a learning piece to both allow the eating of meat, and more important, taught Talmudic sources about baseless hatred as a key reason for the Temple's destruction. This piece of theatre was supposed to be performed at the Wilmington's Siegel JCC Pool but we got rained out. However, just hours ago, we performed this piece for the elder segment of the Delaware Jewish community in the Siegel JCC Senior Center, during their weekly Chicken Pre-Shabbat Lunch. Afterwards seniors, who are members of all three local synagogues, shared how good it did their hearts to see rabbis from the various streams of Judaism working so well together. Enjoy the play and may we all have a meaningful Tisha B'Av.
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Tisha b’Av Theatre at the Pool by Rabbi Michael Beals, Congregation Beth Shalom
Steven: So it turns out that there is a strongly held custom of NOT eating meat during the last nine days before the great Fast Day of Tisha B’Av, when we mourn the destruction of the Temple in 70 of the common era.
Yair: That was an awfully long time ago Steven. Maybe you should get over it already.
Steven: Yair, a tradition is a tradition. Without our traditions we would not know what God wants of us. Without our traditions, life would be as shaky as … as shaky as …a Fiddler on the Roof!
Michael: Steven, this is Wilmington, not Anatevka, and if you are talking about the last nine days before Tisha B’Av, which starts next Monday night, August 8th, then today, August 3rd , is within that nine days time. Are you telling me that the JCC can’t be serving chicken, hotdogs and hamburgers tonight?
Yair: (Yelling over to the JCC staff): HEY GUYS! RABBI SAKS SAYS YOU HAVE TO STOP COOKING THE CHICKEN! HEY SOMEBODY GET SOME WATER FROM THE POOL AND PUT OUT THE FIRE ON THE GRILLS. HEY GUYS, BREAK IT UP, RABBI SAKS SAYS YOU HAVE TO STOP!
Steven: Wait a second, Yair, let’s not be too hasty. It is ANOTHER Jewish tradition that if you complete a body of Jewish text you can celebrate with a siyum, a feast. And in Jewish tradition a feast would not be complete without meat, so the siyum could possibly override the other tradition of not eating meat during the nine days before Tisha B’Av.
Michael: Good call. For a moment I thought you were going to give poor Donna Schwartz a kenipshin.
Yair: NEVER MIND GUYS! GO BACK TO YOUR MEAT EATING! FALSE ALARM! RABBI SAKS SAYS IT’S ALL COOL!!
Michael: Hmm … But what to teach?
Yair: Hmm…. What to teach teach?
Steven: I’ve got it!! We’ll teach the Talmudic Story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza and How we lost the Temple due to baseless hatred.
Michael: How appropriate. But they’ll get bored if we just tell them a story. What we need is to ACT out the story.
Steven: But do we have the skill to act out such a story in front of people in bathing suits who are determined to devour their hamburgers in peace?
Yair: Of course we have the skill. Do you know why?
Steven and Michael: Why?
Yair: Because boys, we are ACTORS (say it like that guy on Saturday Night Live, and if you’d rather say Thespians, that’s ok too).
Michael: The scene: big mansion located in the Upper City of Jerusalem. The month: Av. The year: 70 of the Common Era.
Steven: (To Yair): Servant, take this invitation to my friend Kamtza. Tell him I am throwing a feast for everyone who is anyone in Jerusalem. Tell him, ALL the Rabbis will be there. Even Akiba.
Yair: Hmm. Who did he say to invite? Kamtza. Say look, there’s Stoney’s Bar. I think I might get a mead on the way. Now who did my master say to invite, Kamtza, No it must have been BAR Kamtza. (To Michael:) Here Mister Bar Kamtza sir, here is your invitation to the best Wednesday night Chicken Dinner on this side of the Jordan River. (Yair hands Michael the invte)
Michael: Todah rabbah my good man. Here is a sheckel for your trouble.
Yair: One kopek. Last week you gave me two kopeks.
Michael: I had a bad week.
Yair. If you had a bad week why should I suffer.
Michael: I cannot believe I scored an invite to this party. Finally the host has gotten over that problem he had with me.
Steven: (after Michael arrives). Bar Kamtza What on earth are YOU doing here?! I hate you.
Michael: But I have an invitation right here, it even has my name on it, Stoney Bar Kamtza.
Steven: (Glaring at Yair). My servant must have gotten confused. I mean my friend Kamtza, not you!!
Michael: Since I'm here already, let me stay, and I will pay you for what I eat and drink.' "
Steven: 'No!' "
Michael: 'I will pay for half the cost of the feast.' "
Steven: " 'No!' "
Michael: " 'I will pay the entire cost of the feast!' "
Steven: " 'No!' (seize Michael and throw him out)
Michael: 'Since the Rabbis were there, saw the whole thing, and did not protest, obviously they had no objection to my embarrassment! I'll go now, and have a little feast-of-slander with the king."
Michael: Oh mighty Caesar, the Jews have rebelled against you!' "
Yair: (As The Caesar) 'Who said so?' "
Michael: See for yourself, 'Send them a sacrifice, and see if they will offer it. If they will not offer it, then you will know they are in open rebellion againt you and all of mighty Rome.
Yair: I will send you away with a healthy, unblemished ram. I am sure you are mistaken Mr. Bar Kamtza.
Michael: Ha, ha. I will cause a disfigurement in the animal. Perhaps a blemish on the upper lip; others might say that it was a blemish in the eye (perhaps symbolizing the silence of the rabbis, or their witnessing of the event of my disgrace without protest); in any case, a place where for us it is a disqualifying blemish while for the Romans, it is not.
Steven: The Rabbis had in mind to sacrifice it anyway to maintain peaceful relations with the government. But Rabbi Zechariah son of Avkulos objected, 'People will say, 'Animals with blemishes may be sacrificed on the altar!'
Yair: Rabbi Yochanan said, "The excessive carefulness of Rabbi Zechariah son of Avkulos destroyed our Temple, burned our Palace, and exiled us from our Land."
Michael, Yair and Steven: THE END. (bow) NOW GO EAT YOUR MEAT IN PEACE
